To surrender or fight
To Surrender or Fight?
Push through or let go? Fight or flight? Deal with it or not? Overcome resistance or succumb? Rise above or go with the flow?
These are issues and states that we deal with everyday. We all have coping mechanisms, personality inclinations and conditioning karma to confront or unwind. On a certain level the play of life is mirrored in the movement of these forces, enlivening, deadening, and neutralizing.
If we were simple creatures, it would be enough to follow the flow of energy, sometimes uplifting, inspiring us to action, sometimes quieting, giving us time for integration and rest. Hopefully, some people live like that.
For most of us, conditioned with needs, desires, and goals, it can feel as if the pressure to do more weighs against the desire for peace, leading not to a flow state but to a battle between our behavior our thoughts of what is necessary to survive and
possibly thrive. Consider the archetype of a competitive athlete. What is respected is the one who goes the extra mile, pushing through painful injuries and making the goal in spite of adversity. The person receiving the gold medal is not the one choosing to surrender to the limitations of body and mind, but to the one who pushes with inhuman strength and will to the finish line.
The problem with this social construct is that it leads to a belief that we could be more, we need to prove ourselves, that the essential nature of life is something to be conquered. It can be a subtle and consistent feeling of not being enough. And worse than our personal self-deprecation, it can lead to a belief that the world is an obstacle to overcome.
So then remains the question, when to push through and when to surrender? When to take action and when to wait for the invitation? If it were only our individual well-being at stake, the truth is that some would rise to this challenge and some would be thwarted by it. This notion is supported by the ‘survival of the fittest’ slogan of the previous century.
However, when you have a few billion people striving against their own natures, problems arise. The people who slow down to watch the grass grow are often seen as ‘losers’. The people who are patient enough to wait for the most opportune moment could be
seen as lazy. Unmotivated. Lacking.
Each of us is going to be forced, or enticed, or tempted, to find our own balance between action and surrender. There is really no one who can make that decision for you.
Studying natural law is a remedy. When we begin to observe the cycles of life in ourselves, in nature, in the seasons, in reproduction, we begin to learn how to measure that flow within us.
In particular, by understanding the nature of the sustaining force, the remaining forces of duality can take their place in natural order.
For example, rather than focusing on giving or taking, grasping or giving, we can focus upon the context, that being the situation as it is right now. When we begin to FEEL the sustenance of the sustaining force, there arises an emotion that is different from the exchange of energy we are so accustomed to.
The need to give and receive, to participate, to win, to obtain something, and it’s accompanying anxiety, masks the power and presence of what is already working. What is already working in the absence of our effort. In the absence of our will, of our doing.
The spiritual masters say that everything happens, that we don’t do it anyway. In the big picture, that may be true. However we still have to live with ourselves, and that includes living with the feeling that we should be doing something. We are not speaking about giving up on contributions, effort, work, relationships.
It’s not a mental decision. It’s not a polarity. Rather, it speaks to the possibility of a perspective shift.
That perspective shift is an emotional realization that there are more than two forces at play. It’s more than good and evil, god and devil, righteous and damned, right or wrong, winning or losing. What’s on the third side of the coin?
With the knowledge of the third sustaining force, comes the opportunity to know when to engage, and when to let go. When to fight and when to surrender. We can have the experience of fighting disease. It may not be the appropriate analogy, though common enough that people understand what you are speaking about. Sometimes you just relax and let the illness run it’s course. And sometimes you can feel that your body is fighting for survival, fighting off foreign substances, and that is needs the strength. It’s not the same each time.
Sometimes we need to struggle with what we have been taught, or struggle with our beliefs, in order to distill the deeper wisdom. When we understand that these struggles are part of the maturation path, then we can be ok with the inherent discomfort those moments bring.
Sometimes we need to break through, and sometimes we need to be broken. With greater understanding, we get to know the difference.